Koz: Lauren Bacall, LOL. I wish I could cultivate it, like an actor cultivates exactly 2 days’ worth of chin stubble.
Didn’t they get Andy Williams to dub a song for her? I forget which movie.
Yes, I can easily put these files into my Dropbox and send you a link. Would you be able to take a look at them and see whether they are salvageable? That is my first hope.
(How should I send you the link? Email? Text? Just paste it in here?)
If I have to re-record–sigh, it can be done. My vocal weakness is that, often enough, after an hour or so of reading I get a frog in my throat that won’t go away. (Only when recording, not when giving a speech. Go figure.) But if I have to record one hour a day for 9 days, it’s not impossible.
On my mental calendar: our Lent begins March 1, and the book is designed to be read for the 40 days of Lent (40 short chapters), so it would be great if it could be available before that. Which is why I sent it to ACX on December 3. 
If seeing ACX comments is useful to you, I’ll paste in below the review letter I got from ACX earlier this year, when I sent in the files in February (and missed last year’s Lent). However I no longer have the files that this letter is based on, since I re-saved my recent edits under the same file names.
So here’s ACX’s review of the submission last February:
[You’ll notice that the noise floor evaluation says it applies to “all” of the files, but the RMS evaluation applies to “17 files.” They attached a “graph” showing which files. I opened it. It was not a graph, but a simple Courier-font list–of all the files. ]
<<Hello,
The ACX Quality Assurance Team has reviewed your recently-completed audiobook, "The First Fruits of Prayer: A Forty-Day Journal through the Canon of St. Andrew ". We have found 2 issues that must be corrected before we are able to process your audiobook for retail sale.
Below, we have listed the requirements not met, the files affected, and our recommended solutions:
Issue: All files contain excessive background/ambient noise and do not meet our noise floor requirement. Please revise all files.
Requirement: a maximum -60dB noise floor
Solution: In post-production, you may use noise gating or reduction to help reduce the noise floor. Please be mindful that incorrect use of this kind of software can lead to poor sound audio. The best way to go about lowering your noise floor is to identify and eliminate the source of the noise. Often it could be the microphone picking up a loud sound from within the room or it could be a gain staging Issue with your recording equipment. Please be sure that any noise emanating appliances (air conditioner, computer fan, fluorescent lights, etc.) are turned off or isolated so the microphone does not pick up the sound. Our recent ACXU seminar Studio Gear Series goes over the importance of sound proofing your recording area. The Mastering topic in our Video Lessons & Resource section contains samples of what a noise floor should sound like.
Issue: 17 files have a low RMS and are too quiet: Please see attached document for a graph of affected files.
Requirement: files measuring between -23dB and -18dB RMS
Solution: Please raise the overall RMS level of each file to within our requirement. For example, if a file’s RMS is -30dB RMS, it must be raised +8dB to be within our -18dB to -23dB RMS requirement range. Learn Mastering with Alex the Audio Scientist.
After you have corrected the issue(s) above, follow these steps to submit the project for review:
Log into your ACX account, navigate to the In Production tab, and select Title from your list of projects.
Select “Edit” next to the files listed above to delete, replace, and upload corrected .mp3 files.
Confirm the files appear in the order they are intended to be heard.
Click “I’m Done”.
Please be aware that the ACX QA review is not an end to end review of your production and you should always do a full edit, QC, and mastering pass before submission. This is important because errors in the audiobook could garner negative reviews on Audible, Amazon, or iTunes which could result in fewer sales.>>