TTS Readers audio makes ears bleed and neck cringe

The sample you’ve posted sounds OK to me, (just the occasional digital chirp).

Check Windows audio playback enhancements are off … https://youtu.be/sxnUjiGgBaI
[ as Windows could be adding a nauseating pseudo-stereo effect ].

There could also be a second layer of audio enhancements that need to be turned off.